rising from the ground

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Title: What Is Undone
Rating: R
Chapter: Part Nine
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Summary: Sometimes love is your only chance.
Disclaimer: Sadly I don’t own any of the boys I like to play with. All rights for the characters go to P&G, ATWT, JP, CG, etc.
Beta: The phenomenal and wonderful mactwck. Thank you!
W/C: 3445
Warnings: Attitudes that will piss you off, some violence, definite cursing...a little cracky which begins here.
Author’s Note: Wow. I can't believe this is the second to last part. Thanks to everyone that's been reading.I will be posting the last part on Wednesday! Enjoy! And feedback is yearned, loved and appreciated.


Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight







Part Nine




He hated hospitals.

Luke was sure of that as he paced the white hallways, and sat in the white hard backed chairs, and stared at the white tiled ceiling.

He hated white, too.

“Sweetie.”

His mother was standing next to him, hands coming to rest on his shoulders. “Why don’t we go back -?”

“No.”

He was not leaving Noah.

Lily searched her son’s face, saw the determination and something else there, and nodded. “Okay, but at least eat something.” She smoothed calming hands over his hair and down his shoulders. “Can you do that?”

Luke nodded, knowing if he didn't, she would never stop. He knew where he got his stubbornness. “Okay.”

He watched her walk toward his dad, stop to say something, and then they both headed to the cafeteria. Sometimes his parents were the best people in the world. Shoving one hand through his hair, he fell into the nearest chair, head down, covering his face.

Everything after Noah had collapsed was a blur to him. All he remembered were police, Jack insisting that he wouldn’t take a chance with Noah’s life and having him helicopter to Oakdale for security, the noise of the landing, and Paul almost knocking out the paramedic, when he told them Luke couldn’t ride in with Noah. Luke had glared at him and gotten into the back anyway.

They would have to drag him out.

There were plugs and tubes and some machine hooked up to Noah. Luke had watched his face, willing his eyes to open, whispering his name while he held his hand or touched his arms. There was no reaction and when they arrived, he had been shoved to the side and told to stay out of the way.

He had told his parents what had happened when they arrived, leaving out some of the details he knew they would freak out over. As soon as they found out that he had a head injury, they had insisted that he be checked out. No amount of protesting changed their minds so Luke had followed an intern into an examination room, answered the arm long list of questions, and fidgeted through a thorough physical.

As soon as the doctor cleared him healthy, if a little fatigued, Luke had rushed back out to the waiting room, hoping for some news.

There hadn't been any.

Every time he asked about him, all they told him was that, no one knew. He was still in surgery. They would let him know as soon as he got out.

Rubbing at his face, he heard the commotion of voices at the nurse’s desk and he turned to look. He smiled despite everything and stood up, waving one hand over his head.

Evie saw him first and ran, practically toppling him over. Marc hugged both of them and for just a few moments, the three friends held each other and breathed. When the silence had stretched too long, he heard Marc whisper, “Is he okay?”

Luke pulled back, searched his friends faces, seeing the love for Noah shining there and his heart broke more than it already had. “I don’t know. They won’t tell me anything.”

Evie scowled, stared hard at the kiosk in the middle of the hallway. “Of course not. Bureaucratic assholes.” She turned back to Luke, her forehead furrowed, lips between her teeth, she asked quietly. “Do you have any idea if they contacted his father?”

The idea hadn't even crossed Luke’s mind, and now that it did, he was afraid what might happen if they had. He knew little to nothing about Noah’s father except, that he had sent Noah to Pioneer, that was enough to make Luke hate him, that Noah called him The Colonel and that Noah’s eyes would blank out when he even spoke about him.

That wasn't a good sign.

Marc looked around them. “Jesus, I hope not. That son of a bitch can't possibly do anything but harm Noah more.”

Luke believed Marc, would have even if his tone hadn't sounded so scared.

“Luke?”

He recognized the voice and looked up to see Dr. Michael standing near to the doors where they had wheeled Noah away. Panic seized him for a moment and he ran to where Dr. Michael stood, curling his hands to his side. “Where the hell were you?”

Dr. Michael smiled that soft, comforting smile that had given Luke hope when they had first met and shook his head. “When Tony’s men got there, Luke, you guys were gone. We started searching for you right away. Apparently, the police found you first.” He reached a hand to Luke’s shoulder. “When Tony heard, he sent me to make sure everything was okay.”

Luke glanced around the hall, then back at the young doctor. “He sent you to Oakdale? I mean I thought only doctors that worked in the hospitals could… you don‘t work here.”

“Not exactly.” He smiled softly, releasing Luke and nodding his head in the direction of the hallway. “Tony just wanted to make sure Noah would be okay.”

Luke breathed in, waiting for the next words. “And?”

“And he’s okay.”

He heard Evie and Marc cheer quietly behind him but his focus remained on the doctor. “They wouldn’t tell me anything.” Dr. Hughes had been off duty so no pleading to any of the other doctors had worked.

“It was touch and go for a little bit. His broken rib had punctured the right lung and the fluid was building. I don’t even know how he managed to stay upright for as long as he did, to be honest.” Dr. Michael smiled softly at Luke again. “I think he was pretty motivated.”

Luke felt the slow burn heat up his face and looked beyond the doctor to the door. “But you said he’s okay?”

“A little worse for wear after what you’ve both been through, but I’m sure he’s going to be just fine.” Dr. Michael pointed down the hall, pushing Luke in that direction. “They set him up in the room at the end of the hall. Four thirteen.”

Luke glanced back at his friends who waved him off with grins and he grinned back, his feet taking off down the hall. He skidded to a halt and turned to say something to Dr. Michael but when he looked, he was gone. The hallway seemed bigger then before and his steps faltered the closer he got to Noah. His heart was beating a mile a minute, his palms sweaty, and he took several deep breaths as he reached the door.

When he pulled it open, his eyes fell on Noah’s sleeping form, head tilted slightly toward the door, so Luke could see his entire face. That feeling that had been growing inside bloomed fierce and complete. He knew what it was. Had probably known since the beginning. He kept his eyes on Noah, pulling the nearest chair quietly next to the bed.

He was so damn beautiful it actually hurt.

Luke reached his hand out, trailing fingers over Noah’s knuckles, skin soft and warm. Something rattled loose inside and he let out a watery sigh, sniffing back a few tears that he had kept under control.

This thing he felt for Noah, this was love.

He realized that now. That everything before, what he felt for Kevin, was something else.

He had loved Kevin. What he had thought that meant, it was different. He knew that Kevin could never love him, not that way so, maybe, he was a safe place for Luke to hide. Some reason or dream he could hold on to when he was afraid to be who he wanted to be. Kevin had made him see so many things.

He had never looked at him the way Noah did, though, never made every part of Luke burn just by smiling at him. He had wanted Kevin, yes.

He needed Noah.

“Hey there, you.”

Luke brought startled eyes up to Noah and smiled, wide and free. “Hey there. You’re awake.”

Noah’s hand found Luke’s cheek, caressing gently. “That or I’m dead and you’re my version of heaven or something.” He breathed shallow, smiling weakly. “Not bad at all.”

Luke felt the blush rise in his cheeks and rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

Noah coughed with laughter. “Too many old movies, I guess. What can I say?”

Luke leaned over, chin resting on Noah’s arm, one hand reaching up to brush back some stray hair that fell across Noah’s forehead. “Don’t say anything. Rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Noah smiled a little brighter. “You better be.” His eyes closed on Luke’s smiling face and then it was just dreamless sleep.


*

Holden glanced up at the sound of the door opening, smiling at Jack, and when he didn't return it, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

Jack shook his head, passing Holden a rolled up newspaper. “Take a look at this.”

Holden opened the paper, eyeing Jack before reading the headline. He fell into the nearest chair, clutching it between clenched hands. “Oh, my God.” He glanced up at Jack who only shook his head. “Jack.”

“I know.”

“Was it all of them?”

Jack sighed, pausing for a moment before shaking his head. “No. Some of the kids with the implants managed to survive like Ryan and Paul. Somehow when it shorted out on them, it simple went out.” Holden watched as Jack reached for the nearest cup, pouring coffee into it and taking a long swallow. “Others weren’t so lucky. Some had aneurysms and were rushed to the hospitals, and surgeons removed the chip. Others, didn‘t survive at all.”

Holden dropped his head into his hands. “I don’t believe this.”

Jack continued as if he hadn't heard anything. “They’ll never be the same those kids.”

“How many died?”

“Enough.”

Holden spoke directly to the floor, unable to look up at his cousin. “What if…”

“Don’t say it. Luke. He made it. He is fine. Just…don’t.”

Holden nodded, finally looking up, scanning Jack’s face for answers to a question he didn't want to ask, but did anyway. “Now what?”

“Well, there’s definitely going to be an investigation. Arrests. Probably a trial.”

“Kreeger’s dead, though.”

They startled at the soft comment and turned to see Evie and Marc standing at the door. Marc blushed, shrugged slightly as he entered hands full of shopping bags. “Sorry. We couldn’t help overhear.”

Jack waved the apology away, helping Evie with her bags. “It’s okay. You would need to have known, eventually. There are going to be a lot of questions that they’ll want to ask you both.”

Evie sighed. “We don’t know that much, Detective Snyder.”

Marc nodded. “I mean, if it’s about the program itself, we could totally tell you want we went through. What they said. What they did. But when it comes to all that chip implant slash brain washing stuff…” he held his hands up, shrugging, “Not a damn clue.”

Jack rolled his head on his shoulders. “I figured...” He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “That only leaves…”

“You can’t ask Luke to do this, Jack.” Holden rose to his feet, shaking his head. “I don’t think -”

“Luke doesn’t remember anything, Holden. He already told me that when I asked what happened. When Kreeger tried it with him, he was unconscious.”

Holden scowled. “Then who…”

Marc answered quietly. “Noah.”

Jack echoed the name. “Noah.”


*

“I demand to see my son. Now.”

Luke heard the command as he rounded the corner and he knew, before seeing the tall form that intimidated Daisy, the morning nurse, that he would have the distinct pleasure of getting to meet the man Noah loved and hated the most in the world.

“I’m sorry, sir. But Noah made it clear that he wasn’t -”

“I don’t care what he said. He is my son. He belongs to me. I will see him.”

Luke fought back the urge to tackle the son of a bitch to the ground and pound his fist into the smug face. He walked past him, no acknowledgement when he grunted at Luke’s interruption and smiled at Daisy. “Hey, Dais. You mind if I take him his breakfast?”

She smiled immediately; handing over the tray he knew was for Noah and turned to meet the Colonel’s hostile glare. Tilting his head, he looked him square in the eye.

“Noah doesn’t want to see you.”

“That’s not true,” Noah said.

Luke glanced around the Colonel, setting the tray on the counter, and moving to steady Noah, who swayed in place. He was leaning on the cane that the doctor insisted he use until he was better. “Noah, you don’t have to.”

Noah met Luke’s eyes, smiling softly, genuinely. “It's okay, Luke.”

*

Luke tapped his feet impatiently on the tile floor, glancing every few seconds down the hall to Noah’s closed door.

Noah had been in there with his father, Luke rolled his eyes at that, for more than half an hour. The first ten minutes had been quiet but then the hallway had been filled with the muffled yelling of The Colonel. Luke tried feigning interest in the magazine that Daisy had given him but his mind was in that room with Noah.

The yelling stopped as abruptly has it had begun and after a few minutes when no one emerged, Luke stood up, moving closer. He just wanted to make sure Noah was okay.

That was all.

Halfway down the hallway, he felt a warm hand on his shoulder and turned to find Kevin behind him.

“Maybe not such a good idea, you know.”

Luke blinked at him, then remembering what had happened, brushed Kevin’s hand off him. “What are you doing here?” He watched Kevin’s face redden slightly, shoulders hunching up, his eyes not quite meeting Luke’s.

“I wanted to talk to you. Becky told me you were here.”

Luke hid his surprise. “Becky?”

Kevin smiled slightly. “She volunteers as a candy stripper. Said she saw you looking worried and thought you could use the company.”

“I don’t.”

He brushed part Kevin expecting that to be the end. When Kevin followed, Luke turned to stare at him. “What is this, Kevin?”

“I just – man, what I said before – when…”

Luke cut him off. “When what? When I was being held prisoner and I needed your help? Is that the when you’re talking about?” He hadn't realized how angry he was at Kevin until right that moment. Right when he was looking at Kevin and wondering what he had seen in him. He wasn't sure anymore. “You made it perfectly clear how you felt. So let me return the favor. Get the hell out of my face.”

The pinched look on Kevin's face gave him pause, though, and Luke took a deep breath, waving him away. “I can’t deal with this right now, Kevin.”

“I’m still your friend. And I‘m sorry about what I did. If I could take it back, I would. But I can‘t. I just…I am your friend.”

Luke met pained eyes, waited for his heart to speed up, for that feeling he always got when it was just the two of them. He felt some warmth and the smallest of trembles in hands because this was still Kevin. He loved Kevin. All of that other stuff that he came to expect, the pain, the want, the need, none of it seemed to be there.

Kevin stared at him, something shining in his face now. “There you are.”

Luke raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “There who is?”

“My best friend," Kevin glanced down at his feet then back at Luke. “I missed the shit out of him.”

“Sorry. Kind of busy being kidnapped and all.”

Kevin shook his head. “You’ve been gone way longer, Luke.”

“I’ve been here.”

“Not for awhile you haven’t. It was different. I could see it even if I didn't acknowledge it. Maybe that was why I -" Kevin took a deep breath. “I left home.”

Luke opened his mouth but nothing came out.

Kevin moved one shoulder up, looking away as he asked, “I know you’re worried about Noah.” His eyes met Luke’s and he smiled a little. “It is Noah, right?”

Luke felt that tingling in his chest, heart skipping a beat just hearing his name.

God, he was gone.

He ducked his head, smiling. “Yeah, it’s Noah.”

Kevin nodded, glancing down the hallway, his eyebrow scrunching slightly. “Maybe we should go get a coffee in the cafeteria or something. Wait until things calm down a little.”

That wasn't a bad idea. Luke was sure he didn't want to be there to see the Colonel leave. It probably wouldn't be pretty.

“Okay.”

Kevin looked surprised and then smiled. “Great.”

“You’re buying. You owe me.”

*

Noah watched the Colonel pace around the room, hands tucked behind him, one of the classics ways he kept control. It gave him a little thrill to know he could throw his father off his game, even if it was only slightly.

"Now that we've cleared the air and you understand what you have to do, I'll find out when I can take you home."

He panicked at the words. He didn't have a home. Luke's face flashed in his mind and he tried not to think about what that meant.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Dad."

Those words finally seemed to get through to his father because he stopped and actually looked at Noah. "It wasn't a request."

Noah sighed, shifting in his bed, ignoring the instinct to shrivel down under the covers and do as he was told. "And that wasn't me asking permission.” He looked his father in the eye for the first time since he could remember. Since he knew, even when he hadn't wanted to, who he was and what he wanted. "I don't plan on going anywhere with you."

"Noah, I didn't raise you to disobey!"

It was hollered at him and Noah was aware, fully, that before Kreeger, before David, before that place with its excruciating lessons, before learning to be brave from Evie and Marc, from Luke, those words and that tone would have made him flinch, cower, and run away.

Noah watched the surprise on his father's face when he didn't even blink. He pointed at him, stepping closer, voice lower. "You are my son. Mine."

Noah breathed in, seeing in his father's eyes that familiar rage he had become accustomed to. "I am. I am your gay son, Dad.” He reached for the small button at his side, pushing it once before letting it fall from his hand. It occurred to him that in the two weeks that had passed since everything in Chicago, he hadn’t heard one word from his father.

That wasn’t love.

"I didn't hear that, Noah."

"I'll say it again. I'm gay, Dad."

"You are not that. Do you understand? I didn't raise a perverted degenerate. You're weak, Noah. That, I know. But I won't make the same mistake as before. You are joining the army and they are going to make a man out of you. Do you hear me?” He was at Noah's side, hand squeezing Noah's arm, pulling him up. It all came rushing back then. The fear of this man, those feelings of being wrong, and of being a disappointment.

Noah closed his eyes to avoid the disgust written on his father's face.

"Let go of him. Now."

It was Luke.

His father might lose it completely. "It's okay, Luke.” When he opened his eyes, he realized Luke wasn't alone. Holden and Lily stood next to him, glaring directly at his father.

"I think it's time you left, Mr. Mayer.” Holden's voice was tight, agitated and Noah watched Lily place her hand on his shoulder, calming.

"Noah is my son."

He found his voice, shaking his father's hand off his shoulder. "I love you, Dad. Despite everything. And I hope someday...but until then...I've learned to survive. On my own. I don't need you. Not anymore."

The Colonel turned an interesting shade of red. Noah almost laughed because it was strangely amusing that his father couldn't control the one thing he had always needed to: him. He was eighteen, as of two days ago, and he knew, as did The Colonel that he couldn't force him to do anything.

Without another word or a look back, his father walked out of the door and out of his life.

One part of Noah hoped for good.

The other part knew he would never be that lucky.


Part Ten



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